MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
By Marie Victoria Robertson
- Galvatron. No, you can’t grab such a classic character and… essentially do nothing of note
- I love action scenes, but even I got bored during the final battle.
- Cade’s daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz). Apparently it would have killed Michael Bay to give us a female lead who does more than gets captured and need to be rescued.
- On a similar note, while Mark Wahlberg was an okay lead, his constant refrain of “TESSA PUT PANTS ON AND DON’T DATE” was annoying as hell. Also statutory rape jokes are Not Cool.
- Kelsey Grammer’s CIA character and story were just odd. Did he wander in from a different movie?
- What’s the deal with these new Transformers characters? Why can’t they grab some of the classics, like they did for the first movie? Wheeljack? Springer? Anyone?
- And why does every new Transformer need to have a “shtick”? I got sick real fast of John Goodman’s army commando and Ken Watanabe’s samurai (I mean, seriously? And he speaks in haiku? Seriously?)
- However, as much as John DiMaggio’s Australian Autobot was jarring, I kind of liked him. He had a cool design and something about him reminded me of Beast Wars Rattrap.
- As one of the few remaining classic Autobots, it was nice to see Bumblebee again.
- Stanley Tucci as Joshua Joyce, the Steve Jobs-like inventor billionaire, was surprisingly funny and awesome.
- Can I just mention Li Bingbing as Su Yueming, Joyce’s business partner? That lady was fierce and AWESOME. I wish we could have seen more of her.
- The idea behind transformium-created Transformers is admittedly neat and watching them transform was cool to see.
- Lockdown, the Transformer mercenary. I thought he was cool. Don’t judge.
- The Dinobots. They didn’t speak (Me Grimlock have no lines!) and only showed up in the final battle, but… holy cow, they were huge, and pretty darn awesome.
- The classic theme shows up as someone’s ringtone!
- Optimus Prime. Optimus will always be the single best thing about these movies. He had an interesting character arc here, going from angry and bitter at humanity to learning to care for humans again. And frankly, I could listen to Peter Cullen reading the menu from Tim Hortons.