Five Webcomics from Female Creators You Should Totally Be Reading

FIVE WEBCOMICS FROM FEMALE CREATORS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BE READING

By Marie Victoria Robertson

I often sigh about how I wish I could draw. Thing is, I have an intense respect for comic artists, and webcomic artists in particular; using the versatility of a visual medium to tell a good story seems like a beautiful challenge to me. The comic book industry seems like a tough market to get into, particularly for female artists, and the big-name companies are often stuck catering to fanbases. On the flip side, webcomic artists strike out on their own, with the power to write, draw, and produce their own content on their terms. There is often little to no money involved in webcomics, meaning artists are putting their work out there, for free, for people to read and share and enjoy, purely for the love of their art.  

So, respect. Lots of it. 

Some amazing and talented women are responsible for some of the best webcomics out there and they deserve all the attention they can get. Below is a short list of webcomics I love, and you probably will too. 

1. Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton

Chances are you’re already reading this one. If you’re not, I strongly advise you to sit down with a cup of tea and go through the archive. Kate Beaton is a master at crafting jokes based on history, literature, and occasionally pop culture. Her “strong female characters” are not to be missed. 

2. Oglaf (WARNING: Not Safe For Work) by Trudy Cooper (co-authored by Doug Bayne)

DO NOT click on that link if you are at work. Or if dear old aunt Gertrude is reading over your shoulder. From the same author as Platinum Grit, Oglaf tends to bounce between being a medieval fantasy-parody strip with liberal sex and nudity, and being an outright pornographic comic with token fantasy elements. It can be incredibly funny, however, and scathing in its deconstruction of fantasy tropes. Be warned that it can be VERY Not Safe For Work as sex is a huge element of this webcomic, though readers will enjoy seeing same-sex and interracial couplings, and women (of varying shapes and sizes) in interesting positions of power. 

3. Lackadaisy by Tracy J. Butler

This comic is about the titular speakeasy struggling to stay in business in prohibition-era Missouri, amid shifting loyalties, secrets from the past, and rum-running adventures. The story is so intricately written and the art is so exquisite that you almost stop noticing how the entire cast is comprised of anthropomorphic cats. While updates are not frequent, it’s worth going through the archives and bonus gallery over and over again, especially for history geeks. To say that the artist has done her research on the 1920’s is an understatement.  

4. Girls with Slingshots by Danielle Corsetto

GWS is another strip you’re probably reading already, but I couldn’t create a list of my favourite webcomics without including this one, especially since I may or may not have a crush on the character Jamie. For the uninitiated, GWS is a long-running series about a group of friends dealing with life events such as relationships, unemployment, and sexuality. And there might be a talking cactus involved too. It’s been running since 2004 so if you’re new to GWS, there is a lot to catch up on, but it’s a wonderfully funny ride. 

5. Junior Scientist Power Hour by Abby Howard

The first JSPH strip I read was this one and I was hooked. The once-a-week gags cover everything from Abby’s personal life to elements of pop culture to (of course) cats, with a healthy and hilarious dose of surrealism and a cool art style likely inspired by Jhonen Vasquez. Also be sure to check out Abby’s ongoing story, “The Last Halloween”, a comedy-horror story.

Which favourites would you have put on the list?

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and dressing up her kids like Ninja Turtles.

The Good, The Awesome and the Stress of NaNoWriMo

THE GOOD, THE AWESOME AND THE STRESS OF NANOWRIMO

By Marie Victoria Robertson

Hey look, we’re in the second half of November! Show of hands, who’s participating in NaNoWriMo this year? Are you cool as a cucumber because you’re in the home stretch of novel-writing, or are you frantically calculating how many words a day you need to write to finish on time?

Incidentally, it’s pronounced “Nah-no wry-moh”, and for the uninitiated, stands for National Novel Writing Month. It’s that once-a-year kick in the arse a lot of aspiring writers (and some seasoned pros) need to finally get started on that novel that’s been percolating in their brains for all this time.

So what’s the deal with NaNoWriMo? Founded in July 1999, the idea was to unite people through a common goal—writing 50,000 words (about the size of a small novel) in a month. NaNoWriMo has well over 200,000 participants now. You sign up through the official NaNoWriMo website, write your novel piece by piece in your own word processor, and update your word count on the site as you progress. You “win” by reaching the 50,000-word count before the end of the month. It’s open to anyone around the world writing in any language of their choosing. 

For a lot of aspiring writers, getting that first novel finished can be daunting. NaNoWriMo is the perfect motivation, keeping you encouraged and accountable for your writing. 

I’m personally not participating this year, though I have in the past. By the time of this article’s release, it will be too late to sign up for NaNoWriMo 2014, but here is some advice you can store away for next year, or hold on to for whatever writing project you’ve got on the go. 

1. OUTLINE

You may not be allowed to type out a word of the novel itself before November 1^st, but that doesn’t mean you can’t outline. Seriously, outline. The first piece of writing advice I always give my students is to lay out the plan for your novel. You’ve seen artists draw out a quick pencil sketch before they get to work, right? The same applies to writing. Write down your story arcs from start to finish, flesh out your characters, make sure you know exactly how your story’s going to end, even if it’s going to change later. You’ll feel much more inspired to write if you know exactly where you’re going.  

2. FIND SUPPORT

The most wonderful part of NaNoWriMo is the community aspect. Participants help each other stay motivated thanks to local write-ins, support through forums, and pep talks. 

3. IGNORE YOUR INNER EDITOR… FOR NOW

What you’re writing down now is not your final draft. It’s supposed to “suck”, to not make sense, to look like terrible writing. You’re going to edit this later, but you can’t edit anything unless you have a first draft, and since you’re on a time limit, you need to focus on getting to the finish line first. You’re much better off with 50,000 words to edit than 500 words of “perfect” writing. 

4. EVEN IF YOU “LOSE” NANOWRIMO, YOU STILL WIN 

Maybe you’re 1000 words away from the end on November 30^th. Maybe you’re 25,000 words away. You know what? It doesn’t matter. Maybe you didn’t technically win, but you’ve got your novel started. Keep going into December. Keep going into January. Keep writing, and think about what you can do next year to make it to the end. 

You wrote, and that’s a hell of a lot more than other people can say. 

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and dressing up her kids like Ninja Turtles.

Geek Girl Guide to Halloween in Ottawa

GEEK GIRL GUIDE TO HALLOWEEN IN OTTAWA

By Marie Victoria Robertson

If you’re like me, you think of Halloween as more of a lifestyle than a holiday. For one month out of the year, I subsist on candy corn, conversation about who’s dressing up as what, and feasting my eyes on amazing, geek-themed pumpkins (I once carved a Jack Skellington but it feels like I shamed my pumpkin in comparison to those. Sorry, pumpkin). If you want to party or keep it low-key with only one outing or two, here’s a list of fun Halloween things to keep you busy in Ottawa this month.

SPOOK YOUR KIDS

For those with little spawns this Halloween, you can enjoy a family-friendly scare at Saunders Farm with their pumpkin patch and wagon rides (and do check out their Fright Night selections for those minus kids), learn about the Day of Dead (and the story behind sugar skulls) with Dora and Diego at the Children’s Museum, or take them to see Pumpkinferno, the beautiful display of hand-carved pumpkins at Upper Canada Village.   

HEROES & VILLAINS: “MADNESS AT THE ASYLUM”

Halloween season for the geek community is nothing without a stop at the annual Heroes & Villains party. Don your best hero costume (or villain, they’re more fun) and head over to the Ottawa Curling Club on November 1^st at 8:30pm. Check the Facebook group to find out where you can buy you tickets. There will be prizes for most awesomest costume, so work extra hard!

EVENTS AT BILLINGS ESTATE

For those who might want a calmer spook experience, Billings Estate National Historic Site is hosting a few Halloween events such as offerings by the Ottawa StoryTellers on October 16, 17 and 18, and an Edwardian séance on October 26 and 27. Contact the Facebook group for more information and to reserve your spot. 

THE HAUNTED CARNIVAL

In the mood for a night of Halloween glitz and glamour on October 31st? To quote the Haunted Carnival’s Facebook event page: “The event blends the excitement and elegance of a Hollywood Halloween spectacle - with the mystique and decor of travelling carnivals from the 19th Century.” The admission is a bit steep at $50 for students and $70 regular, but it sounds like quite the show!

HAUNTED WALK OF OTTAWA: “INCIDENT AT THE BUNKER”

The always-reliable Haunted Walk of Ottawa has a few special Halloween-themed walks, but the icing on the cake is the “Incident at the Bunker” tour, which takes place at the Diefenbunker every weekend until November 1st. Did you know some wacky experiments took place there a couple of decades ago? Go back in time and find out what was so terrifying! (Hint—it’s zombies). I tried out the tour the first year it started and let me tell you, it’s bloody fun to run from zombies in the bunker cafeteria, or to shoot them before they can get too close to your group—yes, with Nerf guns, but does it really matter? Zombies! 

CATCH THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AT THE MAYFAIR THEATRE

If parties and zombies aren’t your things, you can always sit back, relax, and do the Time Warp again at the Mayfair Theatre, which will be showing Rocky Horror Picture Show Fridays and Saturdays starting October 24^th. Bring your popcorn, party hats, newspapers and water guns, and enjoy a stellar shadow cast (a live cast acting out the movie all around you) that will make you shiver with antici…..pation

KEEP IT MELLOW

For those looking for a quiet night at home once the trick-or-treaters are gone, you can’t go wrong with a good scary movie. You can stick to a classic like The Exorcist (until you don’t mind the backwards crab-walk at all) or Hellraiser (if you ask me, Pinhead beats all other classic horror villains) or revisit a childhood classic like Beetlejuice or Hocus Pocus (I think Billy Butcherson the zombie was one of my first creepy childhood crushes). 

For an even mellower night, get yourself some Halloween-themed bath goodies from Lush and grab a good book. May I propose The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury, The Helllbound Heart and The Books of Blood by Clive Barker, an old creepy classic like The Horla by Guy de Maupassant or a modern horror like John Dies at the End by David Wong?

Just remember to sleep with the lights on. 

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and forcing her son to watch Futurama.

DC Comics, Sexism and Pyjamas: A Reflection

DC COMICS, SEXISM, AND PYJAMAS
By Marie Victoria Robertson

As some of you may know, one of my biggest frustrations related to the younger generation is gendered children’s toys. Every time I think that maybe we’ve done some progress, I walk through a toy store and overhear things like, “No son, those are girl toys. The boy section’s over here” and “I can’t like Transformers, I’m a girl”. I’ve nearly had to be physically restrained to keep from speaking up to the parents. I hate the idea of a baby doll somehow damaging a boy’s psyche just like I hate the idea of a Transformer being a sacred, boys-only thing. On the same note, I’m tired of finding little boys’ clothing with trucks and baseballs on them. When I tried to buy my son a pink shirt a while back, all I could find was frilled and bedazzled stuff I wouldn’t even let a hypothetical daughter wear. Enough already.

A few days ago, the now-infamous “Score! Superman does it again!” and “Training to be Batman’s wife” DC T-shirts made the rounds. I saw them, I scoffed, and filed them under “Wow, comics disempowering its female characters and its female fans, big surprise.” And then I saw Target’s DC baby pajamas: a pink “I only date heroes” and a boyish-gray “Future man of steel”. Come on. I mean, come on.

I get that a marketing department somewhere thought it was a cutesy idea for a girl’s outfit, and I’m willing to grant that maybe they weren’t thinking of the larger implications of this message, but that is exactly the problem. The idea that boys will grow up to the superheroes, and girls will grow up to hopefully marry a superhero, is so ingrained in our societal consciousness that no one gave it a second thought until the shirts and pyjamas hit the shelves. Never minding the fact that the grey pyjamas make no mention of boys in terms of relationships and sexuality, while the pink ones are doing nothing but that. Did I mention the baby pyjamas were meant for a three-month-old?

We need change in the comics industry, but take a look at what we’re doing. These pyjamas and shirts and toys are meant for the kids that are going to grow up to be the future creators, writers, artists, performers, etc. of superhero comics. We’re not even giving them the opportunity to make up their own minds about gender and society and how it all related to superheroes. We’re bombarding them, essentially from birth, with the message that girls are welcome in the comic book world, but only if they marry into it. 

Why aren’t we telling our girls that they can totally grow up to be heroes? Why aren’t we telling our boys that power doesn’t equal masculinity, and that it’s okay to not be strong? If my son wants to grow up to marry Wonder Woman instead of being Superman, that’s just fine by me. Can we just let kids decide what they really like, and what they think is really important, instead of forcing them to repeat our mistakes? 

“But for goodness’ sake!” you might exclaim. “It’s just a kid’s outfit. Chill out. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it.” Sure, and I won’t buy it, but the problem isn’t just with the pyjamas, or the T-shirts, or the next piece of clothing or toy or movie or advertisement that comes out with this same tired message—these are all the result of a mindset that still, in this day and age, encourages boys to grow up into men defined by their strength, and encourages girls to grow up into women defined by their relationships with these ever-so-strong men. A mindset that produces children’s clothing telling girls their value lies in their appearance and their ability to please men. A mindset that slaps pink pyjamas on a three-month-old girl that basically tells her, “You can’t be a hero, but at least you can date one.” 

The issue isn’t that the pink pyjamas exist. It’s that they exist as the only choice for girls. If you’re going to market a T-shirt or a pyjama that showcases who kids are going to grow up to date, at least have it go both ways. Give me Wonder Woman “scoring” Superman. Give me a powder-blue “Training to be Batwoman’s Husband” pyjama, ideally next to a pink “Training to be a superheroine” shirt. 

And even better, put them next to “Training to be Batman’s Husband/Batwoman’s Wife.”  

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and forcing her son to watch Futurama.

Geek Girl Travel: L'Anse Aux Meadows

THE NORSEMEN OF L’ANSE AUX MEADOWS

By Marie Victoria Roberston

Did you know that “Vikings” are only called Vikings when they’re raiding and pillaging? Otherwise, the correct term is Norsemen and Norsewomen. If you drive up to northernmost Newfoundland, you will see the beautiful site of l’Anse aux Meadows—the historic, archeological site where Leif Eriksson and a group of Norsemen landed over a thousand years ago. L’Anse aux Meadows is especially significant since it is currently the only accepted site of a confirmed pre-Columbian expedition (take that, Christopher!) The site was explored in the 1960s by archeologists Anna Stine Ingstad and her husband, Helge. 

Earlier this August, we packed up the car and drove, ferried, then drove some more to Newfoundland (about a 5000km round-trip, for the curious), intent on seeing the archeological site and Norstead, the nearby historical re-enactment village (think Upper Canada Village, but with Norsemen.) Having read The Vinland Sagas, we were curious to see this piece of history for ourselves. It was a heck of a journey, but you haven’t seen Canadian natural beauty until you’ve seen Newfoundland and Gros Morne national park.

The only remaining evidence of the Norsemen's visit to Canada

The archeological site itself might be anticlimactic for those who don’t know what to expect. There are no walls, ruins, or foundations left; instead, we were invited to tour grass-covered mounds, the shapes of which suggest connecting houses and doors and fire pits. This is all that’s left of Leif Eriksson’s crew and their journey to a land they called Vinland-- possibly “Land of Wine”, though if they were hoping to find grapes growing in Newfoundland, they were out of luck. Historians seem to agree that the reason for the journey was partly to find Vinland, and partly to find lumber and ship it back home to Greenland. No one is quite sure why they left, though the leading theory suggests they encountered trouble with the aboriginal people who lived in the area. 

A re-created hut at l'Anse aux Meadows

It’s a bit surreal to stand on the unassuming mounds and picture how, 1000 years ago, twenty burly Norsemen were sitting and eating here. A visit to the nearby re-enactments might help one visualize the settlement. There are, in fact, two such places: the l’Anse aux Meadows site itself has recreations of the buildings suggested by the mounds a few dozen feet away, and there is Norstead Village a short drive away. Both villages are staffed by re-enactors who are as happy to tell you about ancient Norse life as they are to talk about growing up in l’Anse aux Meadows and nearby St Anthony. One of the coolest conversations we had was with the old Norse fisherman, who happily broke character to tell us about playing on the mounds as a child before anyone knew what they were (everyone in the area thought they were the remnants of an old “Indian” village), and how he helped with the archeological dig in the 70s before going to work as a re-enactor.

The Snorri, a replica of the ship that brought Leif Eriksson and his crew from Greenland to Newfoundland

 Norstead is where you want to go if you really want to see characters and learn about old Norse culture. At the entrance, we were greeted by Bjorn Blue-Eyes, the chieftain, who showed us the Snorri, a recreation of the ship that brought Leif and his crew to Newfoundland. In one of the common huts, a Norsewoman demonstrated nålebinding, a technique older than knitting and crocheting. A cheery blacksmith showed us how to make iron tools, while breaking character to lament that the nearest McDonald’s was five hours away. Norstead is right by the water’s edge, and on the day we visited, it was grey and windy—epic weather for learning about this fascinating old culture.  
Norstead is where you want to go if you really want to see characters and learn about old Norse culture. At the entrance, we were greeted by Bjorn Blue-Eyes, the chieftain, who showed us the

 A women's workroom at Norstead Village

I’d like to conclude with a neat piece of trivia. It was archeologist Anna Stine who led the archeological dig at l’Anse aux Meadows, and the artifact that alerted the team to the existence of a Norse settlement was a spindle-whorl, a weight that attaches to the bottom of a spindle used to spin wool. In other words, a woman’s tool. In other words, two women across the centuries were responsible for this hugely important archeological discovery. 

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and forcing her son to watch Futurama.

Remembering Robin Williams

We here at Capital Geek Girls  were greatly saddened to hear of the passing of Robin Williams. A few of the writers were able to put that sadness into words to share.

Credit: Eva Rinaldi 

MARIE VICTORIA ROBERTSON

A good friend of mine posted a very apropos quote when the news broke about Robin Williams’ passing:

“A clown needn’t be the same out of the ring as he has to be when he’s in it. If you look at photographs of clowns when they’re just being ordinary men, they’ve got quite sad faces.” –Enid Blyton, Five Go Off in a Caravan

I think that sums up exactly why this death is such a shock. My favourite Robin Williams movies were always the funny (or at least, light-hearted) ones—Hook, Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, etc. While I was never a huge fan of his stand-up, I know so many people who just loved his manic onstage energy and I can see why. 

He was funny, and he made so, so many people happy. There is something incredibly sad about a comedy icon fighting such severe depression that he felt suicide was his only way to find peace. How could someone who so easily brightened everyone’s lives be feeling so much darkness himself?

We can only hope he finally found his peace. His memory and his movies will always be with us.

LEE A FARRUGA

I had just spent an enjoyable evening with my girls and husband watching mindless television. I decided to check my computer for emails and updates. What I found was the news about Robin Williams – and I cried – a lot.

I grew up with his comedy and his quick wit. He made me laugh so very much. Mork and Mindy was one of my absolute favorite shows growing up. I was 13 years old. It had a huge impact on me. I have always stuck to his comedic roles likes Mrs. Doubtfire and The Birdcage. I have never been able to watch any of his serious work. Why? Because I knew he battled demons that I didn't want to see in his serious face.

Because I see it every time my husband has a dark day due to the same demon or my youngest has a down time because she's inherited her dad's depression. I know the constant fight that's involved. I know Robin Williams fought the good fight for all his 63 years. I cried because he lost the fight. Depression won.

 

I don't generally swear but... Fuck Depression!

COURTNEY LOCKHART

In her official statement, Susan Schneider asked that we not focus on her late husband’s death. Instead, we should focus on “the countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions.” 

So here goes: 

When I was a kid, It was Aladdin sing-a-longs in the car, Hook screenings with my cousins, and learning the Batty Rap at recess with my best friend- I still remember most of the words to all of these to this day.

When I was a teenager, It was watching Live on Broadway for the 23rd time in my buddy’s basement. We threatened to hold an intervention to get him to watch something else, but never did.

When I was in school it was watching Awakenings to discuss ethics, What Dreams May Come in philosophy class and Flubber on the field trip coach bus. 

As an adult, it was listening to him discuss his humanity, flaws and struggles on various podcasts and talk shows, then watching my young nieces and nephew discover the magic of his movies for the first time. 

Unlike most artists that I have mourned, Robin Williams didn’t represent a singular phase of my life. His talent and brilliance were a constant. The idea that he is gone is difficult to process and it just doesn’t seem fair. 

EMILY PLUNKETT

This one hurts.

Beyond the fact that it’s Robin Williams that passed – like, THE Robin Williams who has made us piss our pants laughing for the past 40 odd years – I cannot get over the fact that we lost another soul to depression. 

As much as we didn’t know him personally, we knew his work.  For children of the ‘90’s and beyond, he is Mrs. Doubtfire, Alan Parrish, Peter Banning and the Genie. Mork, Adrian Cronauer, Patch, Sean Maguire to fans of his generation and his plethora of critically acclaimed awards.  When an artist encompasses so much of our pop culture spectrum, we feel the loss.  The world is crying right now.  I know this because my social media feeds have exploded with tributes from fans and personal friends of the actor.  

What I noticed immediately is that all the posts I’ve read are filled with reminders that we should never take depression for granted.  And I couldn’t agree more.  I’ve been there.  I know that pain and have come back from the brink; and now the whole world is reminded on such a deeply personal level that the pain of depression is so powerful and encompassing.  Williams probably knew what he had as a husband and a loving father, whose last post to Instagram was a photo of himself and his daughter as a child.  But when you’re in that much pain, it all flies out the window, and internal lies of depression takes over. 

It’s so real for so many of us, and yet it takes the death of an international superstar for us to have this conversation. 

Let us hope that this heartbreak will lead to more who suffer from mental illness and depression to seek help and for the discussion of suicide to break free of its taboo so that we don’t have to lose another beautiful spirit.  After all, the next spirit the world loses won’t be famous, but someone will have loved it as much as the world loved Robin Williams; and the cycle of heartbreak will repeat

THEA NIKOLIC

I am deeply saddened by this loss of a great talent. He was a man a tremendous abilities that the world will sorely miss.

If you, or someone you know, are battling depression or anxiety you can call the Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region at 613-238-3311.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Geek Girl Review

GEEK GIRL REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
By Marie Victoria Robertson

You know, a lot of my favourite fandoms are really ridiculous when you stop to think about them. Transformers is really just an extended toy commercial with giant robots smacking the crap out of each other, and I love it. And when you break down Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it’s even more ludicrous. And that shit is my jam.

The thing about TMNT is that the franchise wasn’t supposed to be as awesomely cheesy as it is. Created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird and published by Mirage Studios, the original TMNT comics were both meant to be a parody, and to be kind of crazy dark. It was only when the 1987 animated series came out that kids of the 80’s like me discovered TMNT and went nuts. I can’t explain why I love TMNT, with the franchise’s bizarre mix of silliness and dark maturity, but I sure do love it.

Now, on to the movie. Spoilers ahead.

The plot is pretty typically thin— the Foot Clan, a criminal gang led by the Shredder (of course) is terrorizing New York City. Intrepid reporter April O’Neil is following Foot Clam activity in an effort to snag a serious story, in the process meeting four “vigilantes” that turn out to be the Turtles. Meanwhile, rich industrialist Eric Sachs is planning to release a toxin over NYC so his company can then release the antidote for big money. The twist? The antidote is the mutagen that created the Turtles in the first place. In this version, they and Master Splinter were lab animals intentionally injected with an experimental mutagen by none other than April O’Neil’s father, who later died in a lab fire.

My take on this movie: it’s not bad at all, and for the most part, it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Go on, tell me that watching Donatello launch Raphael into a truck isn’t fun! I can see why a lot of critics are turned off by it, though. It’s definitely a movie for fans of TMNT and fans only. 

The big points:

THE TURTLES:
Oh man. They’re turtles all right (the “aliens” rumour has been thoroughly debunked, no worries). Once you get past the uncanny valley nature of their new CGI designs, the boys are actually cool as hell. Every Turtle has a unique body shape, facial features, and little touches that go way beyond the coloured masks and trademark weapons. Raphael, always my personal favourite, was a muscled badass. Donatello was the most adorkable he’s ever been. Michelangelo was pure cowabunga. I was only a bit disappointed in Leonardo, but maybe that’s because he was his usual bland self. He tends to fade a bit when contrasted with the strong personalities of the other Turtles. Overall, I loved these guys, and it was great to have so much attention paid to their brotherly interactions. That was always the best part of TMNT for me. 

APRIL O'NEIL
Megan Fox did a passable job. Not as bad as I expected, but not amazing by any means. I didn’t see April in her. I was happy enough to see that, while she wasn’t taking on Foot Clan members solo or anything, she did a decent job of not being a damsel in distress. There was some added backstory of her knowing the Turtles and Splinter when they were still lab animals and rescuing them from the fire, which added a sweet connection. 

BACKSTORY
Be warned that changes were made, especially concerning Splinter and the Shredder. I found this the most disappointing part and it contributed to the thinness of the plot.

THE SHREDDER
Okay, his armour was pretty reminiscent of Michael Bay’s Transformers design, but it didn’t do anything mechanical beyond the arm-claw extensions. Not crazy about the facial design though. The Shredder’s eyes should be visible, damn it! Also not crazy about his backstory changes. Removing his connection to Splinter and the Turtles just makes him look like a random psychotic Japanese man who is fond of fancy armour for his crime sprees. He was a pretty physically menacing villain, I’ll give him that. 

SPLINTER
Keep an eye out for the sweet flashbacks of Splinter raising his boys. From an action perspective, this is why I love CGI: we get to see how incredibly badass Master Splinter can be. He’s the only one who manages to take on the Shredder in a one-on-one fight.  

ACTION
Oh yeah, katanas and sais go flying and there’s gratuitous martial arts and long scenes of non-stop action, and it is all awesome. I mean, isn’t that kind of the point of a TMNT movie? 

So, should you see it? If you’re not a TMNT fan, I’d say skip it. You probably won’t find anything you like about it. But, if you are a TMNT fan? Worth seeing. It’s got everything a TMNT movie should have—the four Turtles in prime form, Splinter, Shredder, April O’Neil, humour, sarcasm, pizza, callbacks to previous movies/comics/series, and all the martial arts action you could want. Radical. 

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and forcing her son to watch Futurama.

Guillermo Del Toro's "The Strain"- Geek Girl Review

TV REVIEW: GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S “THE STRAIN”
By Marie Victoria Robertson

We may be starting to break free of the Twilight craze and its sexy, sparkly vampires, but it’s still going to take a lot to give vampires their scary dignity back. Guillermo Del Toro’s “The Strain” might just be what the doctor ordered.

Mía Maestro as Dr. Nora Martinez, and an unfortunate pilot

“The Strain” premiered on FX on July 13^th, 2014. We are two episodes into a slow-paced, but promising new horror series. Of course, I write this review having read the trilogy on which the series is based- “The Strain”, “The Fall”, and “The Night Eternal”, written by Guillermo Del Toro (co-authored by Chuck Hogan)—and knowing that while the story takes its time to unfold, the pace will soon be dizzying, weaving together several storylines against the backdrop of a vampire “plague” invading New York City.
In the first episode, a plane lands in NYC, with all shades but one drawn and no signs of life. 

When the CDC is called in to investigate, they find a plane full of dead passengers, with the exception of four survivors, who are soon released (despite looking pale and sickly as can be.) An elderly pawnshop owner, Abraham Setrakian, takes a keen interest in the plane, and more importantly, a wooden box that was transported on it. On the flip side, we have a rich, ill, elderly follow named Eldritch Palmer who seems on the verge of making a deal with the devil, and his oddly vampiric companion who employs Latino gangbanger Gus Elizalde to do his dirty work. 

Guillermo Del Toro has a keen eye for bizarre body horror, so it stands to reason his take on the vampire mythos comes with gruesome reimagining. His vampires don’t sparkle in the sun and don’t feed with dainty little fangs; the transformation from human to vampire is brutal, as the “vampire infection” is spread through creepy little worms, causing the host to slowly die and to grow an extending stinger from their throats (the better to drink your blood with, my dear!) 

The horror is nice, but it’s really the characters that sold me on the book trilogy, and the reason I’m excited to follow the series. Corey Stoll as Dr. Ephraim Goodweather, the CDC epidemiologist who is tasked with investigating the mysterious outbreak that killed the plane passengers, is pretty bland (of course he’s a recovering alcoholic and of course he’s in the middle of a divorce) and Mía Maestro is given very little to do as Dr. Nora Martinez, though she is very promising as our female lead. Sean Astin is already starting to shine as CDC administrator Jim Kent, a sweet guy who’s clearly got some interesting secrets. 

Miguel Gomez as Gus is your pretty stereotypical thug, but watching him get caught up in a vampire horror is fun to watch, and Gomez does a pretty good job with the character. Russian exterminator Vasiliy Fet (Kevin Durand) has only gotten one scene so far, but it’s a terrific scene, and 100% on track with how I pictured the big, sweet, unflappable character from the books. I’m hoping the series will go on for a few seasons just because I really want to see his storyline develop on-screen.  

David Bradley as Abraham Setrakian

The series’ standout character, to me, is Abraham Setrakian. Fans of Harry Potter and Game of Thrones will recognize David Bradley in the role of the vampire-hunting Holocaust survivor who has unfinished business with the Master of this whole vampire plague. To say that Setrakian is a badass grandpa is an understatement.  

As an adaptation, “The Strain” is pretty faithful so far. As a horror series, it’s pretty darn entertaining. For anyone looking to put a bit of horror back in their vampires, this is a series you’ll want to follow.  

Marie Victoria Robertson is a published speculative fiction writer and playwright, as well as the board president of Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative (www.jersvision.org). When all the other girls wanted to marry Johnny Depp, she wanted to run away with Worf on the Enterprise. She enjoys giant robots, time-travel paradoxes, and forcing her son to watch Futurama.