Courtney's Cosplay Confession: Day 64

Previously, Courtney committed to cosplaying for the first time at this week's Ottawa Comic-Con.  If you missed it, Click Here for the first post and Here for the second. 

ON CONFIDENCE IN CHARACTER. 
by Courtney Lockhart

After a few last minute adjustments, my costume is ready to go.  With the checklists completed and my bags pretty much packed there is very little left to think about until the morning of con. 
Which leaves my imagination with time to run wild. 

I start with the obvious. What if my pass doesn’t work? What if I spill or rip something on my costume?  What if I miss one of the panels I’m speaking at? Then I start going a little deeper: What if no one gets who I am dressed up as? What if they do but they make some sort of comment about the costume not being done right? Or what if someone starts trying to explain all the ways Gwen as a character is the “worst ever!” complete with eye roll and patronizing smirk?   There are a lot of reasons you can come up with to convince yourself to stay home. 

I also feel guilty about this being so difficult for me. I’m not doing a big elaborate costume. In fact, a couple of pieces  have weaselled their way into my daily wardrobe.  But something about the idea of standing there, saying “ I am trying to embody this character”  is terrifying. 

The thing is, I love Gwen. There are a few episodes where I don’t like her as much as the other team members, but I do love her. She’s written complexly. She’s not a perfect hero, she makes mistakes. She’s unapologetically human. There are a lot of fans who have never forgiven her for selfish decisions she has made.  However,  she is also strong and loyal and funny. She stands up for what she thinks is the right thing to do. She doesn’t give up.  

So really, the way for me to fail at embodying the character of Gwen Cooper, is to not try. I will fail if I leave her in the box on my dresser and let the nasty voices in my head and imaginary internet trolls succeed. 

I may not be able to headbutt a CIA agent  with a battle cry of “I’m Welsh”, but I can metaphorically kick down the doors of the con and  let them all know “ I’m Cosplaying.” 

Courtney Lockhart lives in the west end of Ottawa with her husband and step-cat.  She is polishing her skills to pursue one of her dream careers as either a costume drama character, Torchwood operative or executive assistant to a billionaire vigilante. You can follow her daily mission to DFTBA on Twitter @corastacy.