Tuesday, 14 January 2014

The CGG List of Modern Offbeat Heartthrobs

by Jordan Danger

I’ve been a bit fascinated with The Blacklist lately, which is James Spader’s newest show. It’s fantastic, if you haven’t seen it yet. Anyway, I had posted on Facebook about being excited for the new season, and someone else commented that Spader has ‘really let himself go’, and because I’m currently a bit fascinated (okay, obsessed) with this show, I was absolutely appalled with that comment. It got me thinking, though, about who are offbeat heartthrobs are these days; so I made a list.




Lead actor in the hit BBC series, Sherlock, Benedict may be better known now as the villian Khan in the hit movie Star Trek: Into Darkness. Benny and I have been imaginary lovers for a couple years, as I caught onto Sherlock quite early, and even some of his roles before that. When you first look at Cumberbatch, you may wonder why so many of us are drooling over him: he’s kinda skinny, and has a bit of a horse face, and his hair somehow always looks awkward. But give him a few minutes: soon you’ll see there’s just something about the way he walks, talks, and stares at you with those indescribable eyes…oh, yes, Benedict’s attraction is defintely a cerebral thing.


Diehard fans of the (long over) series, Gilmore Girls, were already familiar with McCarthy from her days as Sookie St James, the loveable chef at the Dragonfly Inn. But Melissa disappeared after Gilmores, as did most of that awesome cast, and I kinda thought we’d seen the last of her; after all, Hollywood is obsessed with skinniness, and Melissa wasn’t likely to ever lose enough weight to appeal to the movie execs. But she did make a comeback, starring in a moderately funny sitcom called Mike & Molly, then knocking it out of the park with her roles in Bridesmaids, Identity Thief, and The Heat. Melissa is gorgeous, but even more importantly, she’s hilarious. And she’s also not afraid to take a role where she looks like a hot mess, which nice. Though she does tend to have a lot of ‘magic makeover’ scenes, which annoy me a bit, the cool thing here is that she’s making a name for herself as a Hollywood sweetheart without fitting into the normal view of ‘beauty’.


Many of us love James Spader, and some have loved him for decades. Yes, he’s older and yes, he’s paunchy, but there’s something about the way he talks; you know he’s every bit as intelligent as the mensa-level characters he so often gets to play, and he’ll reel you in with just a few well-delivered lines. Despite being the polar opposite of the stereotypical ‘hot guy’, Spader makes it to our ‘hit list’—again, it’s a brain thing.


I include Jennifer Lawrence even though she’s pretty Hollywood-pretty because somehow at the same time, she’s not. Despite being a bit awkward, self-professedly not overly bright, and often unpolished, Lawrence is just plain likeable. Maybe it’s her very human qualities that make this particular girl so universally loveable, despite the fact she doesn’t fit the Hollywood mold.

Washed up drug addict-turned-Iron Man. I don’t think I need to say much more here. Again, though he sports some wild hair and a goatee that belongs on some villian from the days of silent film, Robert steals our hearts with his quick wit and fast tongue.


Emma would be considered gorgeous by most Hollywood-prescribed standards, it’s true; but those that truly love her know that it’s her cheeky wit, her sardonic smile, and her teasing tones that melt our hearts. Emma is pretty enough to play the vapid roles that Hollywood typically doles out to doe-eyed young starlets, but Emma’s staying power—and her true appeal—comes from her other qualities. Making a comeback in the last Spiderman movie, I hope we see much more of her to come.


Chris is on here in an honorary position. Yes, Chris is obviously the Greek god-like beauty that Hollywood always brings us…but he’s more than that, and I’ll tell you why. Chris Hemsworth is one of the most universally appealing humans I think we have ever seen. I know straight men who mention Hemsworth with a blush in their cheeks. I know one particularly boy-phobic lesbian who publicly admits she’d bring him home with her. Chris Hemsworth is the great equalizer, and I’ve never seen anything like it. Next time the United Nations is working on a peace treaty and they can’t find common ground between the warring parties, they should bring up Chris Hemsworth; guaranteed, everyone can agree on him, and that’s a good starting point.

Sandra makes the list because she’s a lifetime achiever. Sandra rarely gets to play the traditional Hollywood engenue, and the roles she’s best known for (Speed, Miss Congeniality, The Heat) portray her as sort of awkward and dorky. So first gold star goes to Sandra for playing a different role than the usual giggling girl. But at forty years old she took our breath away when she sported cropped hair and a lot of guts in Gravity, and so Sandra makes the list because she’s been a Hollywood starlet on her terms, in atypical roles, and now she’s a kickass astronaut to boot.

I think Tom Hiddleton (aka Loki from Thor movies) looks like a creepy lawyer or accountant. But Tom has garnered a following that cannot be denied. Again, many find him sexy but not in that typical Hollywood way: he`s got kinda weird hair, and not much of a build, and a strange sort of face. But get him talking and conniving and conspiring, and put him in a pair of leather gauntlets, and BAM: you`ve got a superstar hearththrob.

Anyone we`ve left off the list? Comment below and tell us who!

Jordan Danger is a veteran blogger, writer, and marketing consultant based in Ottawa, Ontario. She is also President and Editor of CapitalGeekGirls.com. Jordan blogs at GirlCrafted.com, a lifestyle blog about crafting life both literally and figuratively. She loves DIY projects, her dog, and Oxford commas.

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